Monday, January 30, 2012

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 1

The Time Mookie Unknowingly Made Fun of a Handicapped Person

This story sadly has two parts:

Part I
I was at work and was walking up a large stairway that went from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor from our cafeteria.  As I was walking up I noticed a woman walking up the stairs in front of me holding a tray with her lunch on it.  At the landing at top of the stairs is a set of glass doors that one would need to pull open to get through.  The woman arrived at the top of the stairs ahead of me and turned to her left, looked at me and smiled and said:

"I was hoping there would be someone around to help me open the door."  

Me being the nice guy I am, I was more than happy to help out.  I said "sure" and hiked up the last stairs to open the door for her.  As I reached the door and began to open it, I jokingly said:

"What's the matter, can't you one arm it?"  

She let out a half-hearted laugh and proceeded to walk past me through the doorway.  That was when I noticed her right side:


OMG!  How could I have done such a thing?  I couldn't say anything as I was struck with fear/embarassment, and quickly went the opposite way she did.

In my defense:  The truth of the matter was that I was in no physical position going up the stairs to notice she was lacking her right arm.  She was walking up the stairs directly in front of me.  Her clothing had a "right arm" to it, but I did not have the proper viewing angle to notice it was hanging loosely at her side with no apendage under it.  Good lord I felt horrible.  I had just made fun of a one-armed woman right to her face.  She probably thought I was quite the insensitive jackass.  Looking back now I wish I would have apologized.  I'm sorry one-armed lady.  I'm pretty much a d-bag.

But GD was funny after the fact. 

And then:

Part II
Two-months later, I'm walking into work from the far reaches of the parking lot.  As I'm walking, I witness a car hauling ass into the immediate lot and whip into a handicap spot up near the building.  I see this person reach up and put their handicap sign up on the rearview mirror, and then proceed to exit the car with little or no physical trouble whatsoever.  I IMMEDIATELY think to myself, "Handicapped my ass."  Then she turned and walked free of the car to reveal herself.

GAWWWDDD DAMMMMMIITTT!!!  Once was the one-armed woman

I continued walking into the building, but stayed a safe distance behind.  I don't know if she recognized me, but she definitely did not hold the door for me.  You know, because she was holding a purse.  And the whole one-arm thing.

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