Monday, July 18, 2011

ARE YOU GOING TO DALLAS??

A newlywed couple boards an airplane bound for Dallas, TX to embark on their honeymoon. The couple is seated in the middle section of the plane, and shortly after take off the wife decides she wants to get a little frisky. She wants to join the "mile-high club" if you get my drift.

They somehow "disrobe" from the waist down, cover their laps with blanket, and the woman discreetly situates herself on top of her husband's lap.  They start getting it on, and the woman is moving around a bit but trying to not be obvious about their activity.  That's when she gets a great idea about what to do, and she leans over to her right towards the nearest passenger.

She asks "Are you going to Dallas?"

The passenger looks at her and nods to the affirmative.

As she settles back onto her husband's lap, she utters,

"Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

She then leans over to her left towards the nearest passenger that way.

She asks "Are you going to Dallas?"

The passenger looks at her oddly and says "Yes."

Again, as she settles back onto her husband's lap, she utters,

"Oooooooohhhhhhhh!"

All of a sudden she starts hopping up and down on her husband's lap and yelling:

"WE'RE ALL GOING TO DALLAS!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DALLAS!!"

Saturday, July 09, 2011

This Is How To Shoot Off Illegal Fireworks

When you come to fireworks show at my house, this is what I want.  Sadly I only get sparklers, snakes, and some bottle rockets.  These homies have some Grade-A stuff, but just don't pay any mind to the obvious presence of cars and houses in the immeditae vicinity.  It's all good in da hood though.

Warning: Language.

Matthew Anderson? A Distinguished Professional?

I got the following email the other day.  Just as fast as my self-esteem rose to the ceiling, it came down with a crashing thud after consulting with Google to see if this was legit.  It SO wasn't.  This is what I got: