Breathtaking and Inappropriate

A collection of stories and pictures your mother would probably frown upon.

Thursday, November 05, 2020

Sucks To Be You

 



Posted by Mookie5150 at 5:01 AM
Labels: America , Fun fact
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Friday, October 23, 2020

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN VOTING IN THE 2020 ELECTION

 TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO WHEN 

VOTING IN THE 2020 ELECTION

10. Write-in your college pal "Crab Man" for County Treasurer

 9.  Be nice and vote for everybody because you want everyone to win

 8.  Keep asking for help because you don't see "Best Actor" as a category

 7.  Ask a poll helper to step inside the voting booth and help you with your "pole"

 6. Vote for Kanye. This is not the Grammy Awards

 5.  Write-in "Emerson Bigguns" for Public Health Commissioner because it's hilarious

 4.  Ask the poll helpers if you can use the multi-colored crayons you brought with you

 3.  When you are asked for ID, keep asking if they think you are a Russian hacker

 2.  Keep demanding a new ballot because Eisenhower isn't on there

 and

The #1 thing not to do when voting in the 2020 election:

 1. Cast your vote in a way that promotes racism, prejudice, fear, and hate-mongering

Posted by Mookie5150 at 5:01 PM
Labels: America , funny , Top Ten , voting
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Tuesday, October 06, 2020

R.I.P Eddie Van Halen

Eddie Van Halen died today. 

His guitar playing and his music are major pieces to the soundtrack of my life. 
The Rock and Roll world definitely lost a big one today.

Fly high Ed.


Posted by Mookie5150 at 4:22 PM
Labels: music , RIP , Van Halen
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Friday, May 15, 2020

Every Trump Supporter in America vs Every Rational American


Posted by Mookie5150 at 4:01 PM
Labels: 'Murica , America , funny
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Monday, April 20, 2020

TOP TEN TIPS ON HOW TO WORK FROM HOME DUE TO COVID-19



TOP TEN TIPS ON HOW TO WORK FROM HOME DUE TO COVID-19

10. Start a weekly "Most Valuable Employee" award in your home office,and the winner gets vodka every day that week (Hint hint....you will always win).

 9. Make sure to position your Dogs Playing Poker painting nicely behind you for your Zoom/Skype meetings with co-workers.

 8. Done with the conference call? Time to crank up some GD Def Leppard!

 7. Does your neighborhood have lots of squirrels? Name them and talk to them out the window so you don't feel so lonely.

 6. Every day, change from your nighttime PJs into your daytime PJs. This will help you get into the "time to work" mentality you need to get things done.

 5. When you have to share your computer screen during conference calls, remember to close all your porn tabs. No one wants to see what you are into.

 4. Topless Tuesdays!!!

 3. Declare that Fridays are an office food day. Doordash something and eat it all like you would in the office anyway.

 2. Catch up on your full DVR while "working."

 1. Three words:  Miller. High. Life.
Posted by Mookie5150 at 4:01 PM
Labels: COVID-19 , funny , Top Ten
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Friday, April 03, 2020

DONALD TRUMP - The Toddler

Thank you Washington Post for BY FAR one of the best articles this week surrounding Donald Trump and the COVID-19 Pandemic. Long story short.....Donald Trump is a bitch-ass little baby. I don't care if you are a "red" or a "blue" person, but you have to admit the President is just full of shit.

Trump has handled the coronavirus the way he handles everything: Like a toddler

The pandemic is highlighting all of the president’s worst impulses.
President Trump speaks at his daily coronavirus briefing on Thursday. His behavior hasn’t changed during the pandemic.
President Trump speaks at his daily coronavirus briefing on Thursday. His behavior hasn’t changed during the pandemic. (Jabin Botsford/The Washington Post)

April 3, 2020 at 4:00 a.m. GMT-6 

In January, when Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar first tried to brief President Trump about the coronavirus threat, the president got distracted and wanted to talk about vaping instead. That same month, Trump told a CNBC reporter that he was not worried about a pandemic; by March, he was claiming, “I felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic.” After declaring a national emergency, Trump fumed about the images of empty airports and grounded planes on television. He has publicly compared his poll numbers with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s. He has responded to anodyne questions from reporters by saying they are “nasty” and demanding that journalists “be nice.” 

In other words, not even a crisis as massive as the novel coronavirus has stopped the president from behaving like a cranky toddler. 

Trump’s toddler traits have significantly hampered America’s response to the pandemic. They aren’t new, either. In the first three years of his term, I’ve collected 1,300 instances when a Trump staffer, subordinate or ally — in other words, someone with a rooting interest in the success of Trump’s presidency — nonetheless described him the way most of us might describe a petulant 2-year-old. Trump offers the greatest example of pervasive developmental delay in American political history. 

The elevation of a toddler to the Oval Office intersected with a trend that predates Trump and has made the problem worse: the increasing agglomeration of power in the hands of the president. In the half-century since Watergate, presidents from both sides of the aisle have beaten back formal and informal constraints. They have resisted congressional oversight, cowed judges into submission and disciplined bureaucrats into obeying their every whim. Increasing political polarization has facilitated presidential power grabs by enervating congressional oversight, increasing the political loyalty of Cabinet officers, and eroding the norms and unwritten rules of the presidency. 

As these problems mounted, the presidency was redesigned to be occupied by the last grown-up inside the Beltway. And then Trump was elected. True, his brand of immature leadership is not the only reason the United States lags behind South Korea in its pandemic response, including testing and containment. Organizational inertia and garden-variety bureaucratic politics matter as well. 

Still, the Trump White House’s inadequate handling of the outbreak highlights his every toddler-like instinct. The most obvious one is his predilection for temper tantrums. Some advisers describe an angry Trump as a whistling teapot that needs to either let off steam or explode. Politico has reported on the myriad triggers for his tantrums: “if he’s caught by surprise, if someone criticizes him, or if someone stops him from trying to do something or seeks to control him.”Like a toddler’s, Trump’s temper has flared repeatedly as the pandemic has worsened and the stock market has tanked. Multiple reports confirm that Trump was irate with prescient statements in late February by Nancy Messonnier, a senior official with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, who warned that a coronavirus outbreak in the United States was inevitable at a time when Trump was insisting he’d prevented one by banning travel from China. A report in Vanity Fair quoted “a person close to the administration” saying that Trump was “melting down” over the pandemic. He pitched a fit after his Oval Office address in early March was widely panned. His temper has acted as an obvious deterrent for other officials to contradict Trump’s happy talk about the pandemic: In early March, Defense Secretary Mark Esper ordered his overseas commanders not to take any action mitigating the coronavirus that might surprise the president. For Trump’s staff, crisis management revolves around managing the president’s temper, not managing the actual problem. 

Trump, like most toddlers, also has poor impulse control. Some White House advisers reportedly refer to it as the “shiny-object phenomenon” — his tendency to react to breaking news rather than focusing on more important issues. This is a problem for competent governance. As White House counselor Kellyanne Conway noted back in 2017, “The hallmark of leadership is a deliberative process, not an impulsive reaction." 

During the coronavirus outbreak, Trump’s access to Twitter has exacerbated his impulsiveness. He has tweeted out statements that aides have scrambled to interpret or reverse-engineer into existence, such as whether he would invoke the Defense Production Act to force manufacturers to make ventilators. Health experts have reportedly tried to get him to focus beyond the immediate bad news cycles of rising infections and look at the larger picture of “flattening the curve” and preventing a much bigger health disaster, to little avail. Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan (R) complained on the record about Trump’s erratic public statements, noting that “he at times just says whatever comes to mind or tweets, then someone on TV is saying the opposite.” 

Trump’s short, toddler-like attention span has been a problem throughout his administration. One former high-ranking government official told me that a 45-minute meeting with the president was really 45 different one-minute meetings, in which Trump would ask disconnected, rapid-fire questions such as “What do you think of NATO?” and “How big is an aircraft carrier?” One book reported that Trump would interrupt his first chief of staff to pepper him with questions about badgers. That inability to focus laid the groundwork for the bad pandemic response. During the transition, the Obama administration prepared a tabletop exercise to brief the incoming Trump team about how to handle an influenza pandemic. The president-elect did not participate, and a former senior official acknowledged that “to get the president to be focused on something like this would be quite hard.” 

Trump’s inability to sit still has been on display recently. His aides have questioned whether he has the capacity to focus on what will be a months-long emergency. White House staffers acknowledged that the one time he tried to read a prepared speech from the Oval Office was an unmitigated disaster. Multiple reports confirm that he has grown restless while confined on the White House grounds. He has crashed staff meetings because he does not know what else to do. 

Toddlers are natural contrarians, who love to test boundaries by pushing back on whatever they’re told. So is Trump. In the first two months of the outbreak, he insisted that the coronavirus would never spread within the United States, despite expert assessments to the contrary. In late February, he said: “It’s going to disappear. One day — it’s like a miracle — it will disappear.” He repeatedly claimed that the virus was not a serious problem, even as mayors, governors and his own administration said otherwise. After finally declaring a national emergency, he clung to the idea that most of the country would be back to normal by Easter. And he insisted that anti-malarial drugs offered an effective treatment despite minimal evidence because, according to one source, he “wants this magical moment when this is all over.” Each time, Trump’s advisers have had to expend precious time and energy to change his mind and soothe his ego rather than focus on the crisis at hand. 

The final and most disturbing parallel between Trump and a toddler is that, like at a day-care center that doesn’t pay caregivers enough, the staff turnover in this administration has hampered the government’s response. The burn rate of senior officials has been much higher under Trump than under any of his post-Cold War predecessors. 

The GOP did not send its best to staff Trump’s administration in January 2017, and he is now scraping from the bottom of the barrel. As the coronavirus crisis metastasized, Trump fired his third, and hired his fourth, chief of staff. His fourth national security adviser shrunk his staff by more than a third before the outbreak — including shuffling the National Security Council’s planning for pandemics into a larger sub-office, diluting its power within the White House. Two-thirds of the senior positions at the Department of Homeland Security are vacant or filled with acting officials. Civilian vacancies at the Pentagon are at record highs. 

I ran the White House pandemic office. Trump closed it. 

Much like frazzled preschool teachers, the remaining competent people staffing Trump are clearly past the point of exasperation. In response to an interview question about why he failed to correct Trump at a news conference, Anthony Fauci, who’s been running the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for decades, responded: “I know, but what do you want me to do? I mean, seriously . . . let’s get real, what do you want me to do?” 

Indeed, the rest of Washington seems as frustrated as Fauci: Despite his meltdowns, Trump has been able to use the enhanced powers of the presidency with minimal pushback. When he signed the $2 trillion stimulus bill, he rejected congressional oversight of the spending. The president told his vice president not to respond to governors who complain too much about the federal response. Despite his bad behavior, a bizarre aspect of this crisis is that some officials have complained that Trump has not used his emergency powers enough. 

Any parent of a badly behaved toddler can identify with what Fauci is saying. Fortunately for parents — but unfortunately for all of us — no household up to now has had to cope with a toddler with the sprawling powers of the modern presidency. 

Twitter: @dandrezner

By Daniel W. Drezner
Daniel W. Drezner is a professor of international politics at the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy at Tufts University and a regular contributor to PostEverything

Posted by Mookie5150 at 2:00 PM
Labels: America , COVID-19 , Deep Thoughts , Interesting , politics
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Friday, March 20, 2020

Screw Covid-19! This is America!!

Posted by Mookie5150 at 6:44 PM
Labels: 'merica , funny
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Listening to Crap Music on Day 5 of the COVID-19 Lockdown

How am I coping? Well I work from home, so I am doing that. That being said, for some reason I starting playing music today that I don't normally like to listen to. The first of the bunch was Van Halen III - you know...the one with Gary Cherone as lead singer. Am I sick? I almost was when I got to the end and listened to the song How Many Say I that Eddie Van Halen sings. Jesus. I still remember really trying to actually like this record when it came out as I always considered myself a "ride or die" Van Halen fan. I did end up liking maybe 3 songs, but they aren't great: Without You, One I Want, and Fire in the Hole.  The rest? Dumpster fire.

The red-headed step-child of the VH catalog
Knowing what I know now and have read about over the years, this album is an even bigger disappointment to me now than it was then. This was when the VH brothers really started to screw over bassist Michael Anthony (arguably the heart and soul of his band), and was more or less the end of his tenure. People have said that this was essentially an Eddie Van Halen solo record with hired gun musicians, and it might be true.  Anthony supposedly only played on 3 of the album's tracks while Ed did the rest. What Mikey did end up playing was very dictated by Ed. Just sad all across the board. As everyone knows the Cherone experiment only lasted one album, however there is allegedly material from a 2nd album they were working on. As bad as Van Halen III was, I'd still be curious to hear that music if they ever let it out of the VH 5150 vault.

Second up on the crap music list:  Motley Crue's album New Tattoo. This one came out during the years when various members were in and out of the group. For this one, Tommy Lee was no longer a member and was replaced by Randy Castillo of Ozzy Osbourne fame. This album is often at the bottom of Motley fans' favorite albums, mainly because the songs are without-a-doubt cheesy and lyrically lame. The lead single, Hell on High Heels is enjoyable enough, but just corny.  The albums's two ballads, New Tattoo and Hollywood Ending are bad, but for me - a guilty listening pleasure. Vince's voice is not made for Hollywood Ending's note changes, therefore it's so bad it's good.  The one true good song on the album is called Fake. It is a nice shot at all the record executives from all the past years for making a gazillion dollars off of Motley Crue. They kept the band coked up and so drunk that they almost killed them just to keep the money machine going. At least that's how they tell it. I'm sure Vince, Nikki, Tommy, and Mick didn't conduct any self destructive behavior on their own at all.

Well that's all I have time for today.  I will be sure to update you with the additional crap I listen to in the coming days.  What else am I going to do?



Posted by Mookie5150 at 4:01 PM
Labels: COVID-19 , Motley Crue , music , Rock and Roll , Van Halen , What's Mookie Listening To?
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Thursday, March 19, 2020

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

I don't want anyone to say I wasn't helpful today... so I am going to provide you with a list of things NOT TO DO during the Coronavirus pandemic. While it is truly not THAT helpful, it is providing a dose of humor and snark we all need right now.... because that's what I do.

TOP TEN THINGS NOT TO DO DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

10. Get a friend dress up in a hazmat suit, and run into Target yelling 
      "which way did he go?" and then grab you and drag you out screaming

 9. Playing Ding-Dong-Ditch while licking all the doorknobs throughout the neighborhood

 8. Listen to Donald Trump

 7. Get all hot and sweaty like you have a fever, and then show up at the Old Folks 
     Home asking to see Grandma and Grandpa

 6. Four Words: Topless dance party kegger

 5. Finally host that Pampered Chef Party that your annoying friend Karen 
     has been hassling you to have

 4. Running though Walmart and insisting everyone give you a high-five

 3. Challenging others to wrestling matches over toilet paper

 2. Paint yourself orange, insist things are great and that there are no problems

 1. Drink all the Busch Light and not offer to buy more
Posted by Mookie5150 at 5:01 PM
Labels: COVID-19 , funny , Top Ten
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Monday, March 16, 2020

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 158

The Time The COVID-19 Virus Shut Down Everything

It's been awhile since I've posted anything, and I figured now was as good as any. I pretty much have time, much like everyone else since everything is SHUT DOWN.  Well, not everything. Enough to definitely make life uncomfortable though.

Some people are going out of their minds because they can't see anyone, go anywhere, and have to work from home.  I'm like "Bitch, I've been training for this for years.  This is nothing."  I'm a full-time work from home guy, so not much has changed other than my wife and kids are now home all day every day. It's nice that they are home, but I feel bad because they are doing activities and projects in the house, and I'm down in the basement working. A. I feel left out; B. I feel like I will be in trouble for not helping even though I'm working; and C. I don't want to work, but have to.  Working sucks.

However, I am thankful I can work because there are A LOT of people who want to work, but have been told to go home because their businesses can't be open. That's the sad part out of all this.  People are going to suffer needlessly because they can't work, therefore they can't afford to feed their families and pay bills. People are going to get sick, but can't afford to go to the doctor. Even if they could, they probably can't because other dummies with minor things are taking up vital services others may really need. Many kids who go to school and eat the only meal they probably get every day can't even do that.  A lot of places are stepping up and providing lunches for kids, which is really cool, but you know the kids that REALLY need it probably aren't getting it. A lot of places will even deliver things if they can. I hope people can and do utilize that.

Then there is our fine government agencies. Most state and local levels are on top of it as best they can, and should be thanked for their front line efforts. Our Federal level and our fearless gaslighting leader, Donald Trump are an entirely different story. Normally I don't like to get political on my blog here, but Sweet Baby Jesus....Donald Trump is the stupidest ass-bag one could ever be.  I can't even with this guy. He has been and is by far the biggest obstacle to anything productive or helpful in this matter (or anything really), and should really not be listened to in this time of emergency. That's pretty sad. This isn't even a Republican/Democrat/Never-Trumper/political bias statement at all.  This is just a stupid blog guy saying someone in a place of authority is being very stupid and reckless when all they are thinking about is their ego and pocketbook. Somehow he has conned people into believing his hype, and at this point it is downright dangerous.

So yeah...I'm rambling and this post is disjointed at best and probably lost it's point. What is my point today? I don't know. I guess my point is I hope everyone can stay safe, stay away from others as much as possible, and take care of their mental health. Being a shut-in is not for everyone.  Find ways to communicate with others when you can.  That is probably why I felt like writing this to begin with....to feel like I'm talking to someone.  Yeah I know it might be read by two people...but whatever. Thanks for reading.

We'll get through this.


Posted by Mookie5150 at 5:01 AM
Labels: America , COVID-19 , Deep Thoughts , depression , Monday Morning , WTF
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Sunday, February 02, 2020

Karen Is The Worst

Posted by Mookie5150 at 9:48 PM
Labels: funny , Karen
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