Monday, June 23, 2014

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 120

The Time Mookie Opened Up The Breathtaking and Inappropriate Mailbag

Even though my little corner of the internet is here is pretty sad and lonely compared to the "real" sites out there, every now and then I do get emails and messages from people who have stumbled onto my site. While most of messages are just from people who feel the need to spout off about something I've posted or written, there have been more than a few who have said they enjoy reading my site and find it rather entertaining. Then there have been a few who have went as far as to offer their "suggestions" on how to better my site for the internet community. Truth be told: some of these suggestions have been seriously considered - and on rare occasion - even used. The rest just make me want to reply back with an email that says "Eff-Off." If you don't like it - don't read it. It's that simple people. It's not rocket science over here.

Let's get to the mailbag.

Anonymous writes:
I look at your site every so often and notice you make a lot of jokes about religion. You probably shouldn't do that because I bet a lot of people might be offended by that.

Yeah, you're right. I'll stop. Pffbbfbfbfbfbfbfbfbfbfbfb. NOT.  I poke fun at religion because I think it's funny, and not because I have any ill-will towards a person who follows any particular faith. I honestly respect a person's religious views and think they can believe whatever they want to believe. That is that person's business. However...that doesn't mean I have to believe in what you believe in though, and that's OKAY. It's called acceptance and tolerance, people. I don't care if you make fun of me because you think I'm going to hell, or that you think my life has no direction because I don't "follow" Jesus. Just know that I'm going to tease you right back about someone/something you can't even prove exists, and that organized religion has a track record of having some of the most corrupt and hypocritical representatives EVER created. So if you feel offended by my posts that poke fun at religion, I'm sorry that you feel offended. Just know that I'm offended because you have no sense of humor. Ain't nobody got time for 'dat.

Anonymous writes:
You have a lot of funny pictures on your site. Where do you get them? Can I use them?

Thank you, and yes you can use most of them because the odds are good I "borrowed" them myself. The only exception are those tagged with "Mookie5150," as those are actual pictures I took and they are mine. I get most of my pictures from all across the internet, but I imagine most of them probably originated on Reddit at one time or another - which everyone who has ever been to that site knows - is a re-post haven.

Brittany O'Shea writes:
(In response to the post and picture to the right titled "Does This Mean What I Think It Does?" )
It means Bad Gina.....her name is Gina!

Really? You had to comment on this to tell me this? I pretty much guessed that was what her name was, Brittany. However the license plate has the word "gina" on it, which is the latter part of the word "vagina." Hence the joke I was getting at was that the owner of this car has a "bad vagina." I'm sorry if this was lost on you. The bigger question here should be why Gina felt the need to get a vanity plate that said she was "Bad Gina?" Is she really that bad? I mean she drives a fairly nice Buick, so she can't be that bad can she? I'm sticking with the bad vagina joke because that just makes more sense to me, but then again I'm wrong in the head.

Anonymous writes:
I  enjoy reading your blog, but sometimes your posts are hard to read due to the colors and fonts you use. You should reconsider using these as it would make your blog more easy to read. Thanks.

This is actually one of the few emails where I listened to what someone said, and made some changes. If you ever read this drivel when I started a few years back, you will remember that I used a black background and that the text was in white or colored font. Apparently this didn't go over well with some people, so I made the change to standard white background with black text. Although I do still like to use colored text when I am highlighting a conversation or something. I agree that it probably looks better now and is easier to read, so that's something.

I will end today's mailbag with probably one of the more creepier comments I've gotten while doing this blog. This was in response to the post titled "Historic Cleavage" that contained the picture to the right:

David writes:
Does anyone know who this woman is? I am totally in love and would fly anywhere to meet her

Wow David. Desperate much? While I can understand how someone could be smitten with a nice young lady such as the one pictured, but going as far as to solicit the internet for the young lady's whereabouts so that you may fly off to somewhere to meet her??? Wow. My advice to you is to let this nice lady remain anonymous, and go seek out a nice lady into your community that tickles your fancy. If all else fails, you can always pay a hooker $100 to dress up like colonial bar maid and yell out "The British are coming!" during an evening of cheap motel sex. That should suffice shouldn't it? It has to be better than a restraining order.

Well that wraps up today's Breathtaking and Inappropriate Mailbag. I have no doubt that there will be another mailbag in the near future, and I hope that the next one will feature people who are less creepy and sad as this one. But then again, "creepy and sad" pretty much describes a good portion of the internet - so you know - expect more of the same.

Take care all.

Miss a previous episode?  Click HERE to see the library.

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