Monday, June 16, 2014

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 119

The Time Mookie's Dad Went Into Sharkey's Bar To Find Him

In honor of Father's Day yesterday, I thought I'd share this one as it's one of my favorites.

Right at the beginning of my senior year of college, I had an unfortunate incident where my car was totalled (It is a long story full of mishaps - which I'm sure will be a Monday Morning story down the road). This of course caused an inconvenience to my parents because I was on their insurance, and they didn't really have the money to buy me another one. Thankfully the insurance company was stupid and offered up a settlement that was more than they should have (again...this will be detailed in a future story).

Fast-forward to a few weeks later where one of my favorite events was going to take place: "Beer Flood." The event is/was held once a semester at a local bar named "Sharkey's." The bar opened at 6AM, and for $3.75 you got an official 1-liter "Beer Flood" plastic mug that came filled with your favorite domestic tap beer. Refills were a $1.50 or $1.75. Anyone who was a hardcore "Beer Flood" fan went down to the bar at 6AM to make sure they got their mug, and commenced drinking. I learned from the earlier Beer Flood events that this was a smart move because the bar was apt to run out of mugs part way through the afternoon. The first Flood I went to - if it were not for someone who didn't want their mug - I wouldn't have gotten one.

Most people drank until their first classes in the morning, went to class semi-hammered, and then came back for the rest of the day. On this particular day, I had a class at 9AM and 10AM. It goes without saying that I went to my classes and was back at Sharkey's by 11:05. I was there ALL DAY - skipping lunch and dinner -  and just had a blast. You could talk, shoot pool, and just hang out. As the evening progressed, they fired up the dance floor, and had drinking games ("boat racing") that involved group participation.

Finally after an extensive day of drinking, I headed back to the dorms around 9PM. The first thing I encountered back at the dorm was my neighbor "Cooper*" and his girlfriend "Cindy*." They were getting ready to go rollerblading and asked me to join them. I was like "Are you serious? I'm hammered."

Once I got into my room, being the good boyfriend I was - I thought I'd phone "Megan*" and let her know I was home. She was at work, so I called her desk and tried to tell her how much fun I had that day. All she could understand was "MMHPHH PHFHYFFH PNFHFHF DDDGHJDJH Beer." Partly humored and partly annoyed - she eventually stopped me, laughed and said I should call back tomorrow when she could understand me. "UGH. FIIINE"  We cordially concluded the call and I sat there wondering what to do next.

Just as I was pondering what pizza place to phone rang. I figured it was Megan calling back because she really did want to hear of my day, but much to my surprise it wasn't her. It was MY DAD.

I quickly tried to sound as sober as I could for some reason, but I'm sure it didn't help. The conversation went pretty much like this (you can slur my sentences for effect):
M: Hello?
D: Hey you're home. We were just there looking for you.
M: Here at school? You were? Yeah I wasn't home. I was ummm...out.
D: Yeah I know. Your neighbors said you were down at Sharkey's.
M: Yeah I was. 
D: They said that if I found you that you wouldn't be in very good condition.
M: Well they were right about that. What's going on?
D: I have some insurance papers I need you to sign, so your Mom and I drove down there and I went into the bar to see if I could find you.
M: Wait. You went into Sharkey's looking for me?
D: Yep.
M: No you didn't. Nuh uh. Stop messing with me.
D: No really I did. I walked past the bouncer and came in looking for you.
M: No you didn't. Then what did you do?
D: Yeah, I went in the door and past the pool tables, around the bar and you come to a stairway that goes down to the dance floor or up to another bar and more pool tables.
D: See? I didn't see you, but ran into some kid I thought was your old roommate. He gave me a high-five and offered me a beer.
M: I can't believe you were in there.
D: I was in there maybe five minutes.
M: Well, I had to have been there because I just got home. Man I'm glad you didn't find me.

I sat there stunned on my couch for a few minutes after I got off the phone because I couldn't believe my Dad was there. Then it just made me laugh.

When I told everyone that my Dad had gone into Sharkey's, they loved it. Everyone loves my Dad anyway (affectionately referred to as "The Captain" or more simply "Cap'n"), but in their minds for some reason - this event hiked his awesomeness to another level.

To this day I don't know what I would have done if he would have found me that night. The look on my face would have been shock/horror/confusion/disbelief. I can further imagine the "proud" look on my Mom's face if Dad had led her drunken son out of the bar and out to the car to sign the insurance papers.

That would have been a Kodak moment if there ever was one.

Happy Father's Day, Dad.

(*) - names changed to protect the guilty/innocent

Miss a previous episode?  Click HERE to see the library.

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