The Time Mookie Got Out Of A Speeding Ticket
- Thanks In Part To His Pregnant Wife
Several years ago when my wife and I both worked at MCI, we used to carpool quite a bit to save money on gas. Our usual carpool vehicle was a green Hyundai Accent hatchback. This thing was BUTT UGLY, but it got the job done. It cost less than ten grand brand new, and had very few bells and whistles. It had a cassette player (this was huge for me), crank down windows (future generations will sadly not know of these things), manual transmission, and it's golden accessory - air conditioning. Other than that, it was blah. But it got over 30 MPG, and we used it to haul everything. We crammed tree branches, garbage, furniture, dirt, and anything else we needed hauled into the hatch. Hyundai should be paying me for this as it borders on advertising.
One particular day we were driving home from work in the green Hyundai, and I was more or less minding the speed limit. The reason I was keeping it to a low roar was that my co-pilot wife "Megan(*)" was pregnant with our first child. Like WAY pregnant. So I was being safe and protecting my precious cargo. Plus if I was being reckless, I would hear about it from my pregnant wife. You know what I'm talking about. You don't mess with pregnant women.
I'm in a flow of traffic with one car up ahead of me, and a few behind me. Just as we are coming into town, we meet a deputy sheriff leaving town. As soon as he gets to us, the lights come on and he makes this grand maneuver off the shoulder of the highway, and is ready to turn around into traffic. Megan sees this, looks over at me to monitor my speedometer, and says "You weren't speeding were you?" I look down and see that I am coasting at the posted speed limit. I say, "No. He must be going for the guy in front of us or behind us."
"Officer Friendly"(*) then proceeded to whip out into traffic right behind us and speed up to our bumper with all his flashers on. Awesome. We pull into town and pull over along a side-street and await Officer Friendly's presence.
I roll down the window as I see this husky older officer leave his cruiser and make his way up to my car. He arrives at the car and says:
"Good afternoon. Do you know why I stopped you?"
I replied "No, I'm sorry I don't."
He says "Well my radar clocked you doing 10 miles per hour over the speed limit back there coming into town."
It was then my very pregnant wife felt inclined to include herself in the conversation. She leaned forward so Officer Friendly could see/hear her and goes:
Needless to say Officer Friendly was given cause for concern here. You don't mess with a pregnant woman.
She added that she was watching my speed as we were coming into town, and there was "no way" we were speeding."
I further added that we were in traffic with a car in front of us and some behind us, and that it was possible that the radar may have read them instead of me. He says he can track 3 cars at a time, and that I could come back and look at the radar readouts. I take him up on his offer and go back to the car. I see a readout that shows 3 speeds. The last one is the one that was speeding. I say to him "See, right here. I was following one car. There is me. The guy that was speeding was the one behind me."
Officer Friendly immediately begins stammering about something, and goes and looks at the front of his car. He then asks me to go back to my vehicle and give him a minute. I go back to my car, and get in. Megan says "What did he say?" I tell her what I saw and did, and the officer's weird behavior after that.
I notice in the mirror that he is coming back, so I was very curious what he was going to do. He bends down into the window and says:
"Well I'm just coming on my shift, and I'm sure there will be many more down the road, so I'm going to just give you a verbal warning. Have a nice day."
He walked back to his car, and headed out. Megan and I smiled and laughed at us "beating" the ticket, and how her exclamation at Officer Friendly obviously rattled him from the start. It still makes me laugh to this day.
So the moral of my story: Cops are afraid of some things. One of them: pregnant women.
(*) - Name changed the protect the guilty/innocent.