Monday, January 26, 2015

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 140

The Time Mookie Discussed The Song “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You”

Do you know/remember the song by the group Heart called “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You?”  Of course you do, because if you were alive in 1990 you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing this song.  The Robert John “Mutt” Lange penned tune shot up the charts in almost every country in the world, and peaked at #2 in the United States.  It gave Heart their last top-ten song to date and introduced many to their catalog who may not have been aware of their 70’s and 80’s hits.  Heart f’n rocks, and make no mistake about it: The song rocks.

However, for whatever reason I apparently never thought too much about the lyrics of the song.  I always knew it to be a song where the singer picked up some stray guy, banged the hell out of him in a hotel and left the next morning, found out later she got knocked up, and then she runs into him later after the kid is born.  It’s a story that happens all the time on the Lifetime network and in every trailer park in America.  THEN.

While researching one of my new favorite bands (HALESTORM), I saw that they had recorded a cover of the song titled “All I Wanna To Do Is Make Love To You” and I immediately had to download it because I knew it would rock.  Needless to say: It totally does.  BUT.  For some reason I actually listened to the lyrics of the song, and do you know what I figured out?  She cheated on the man she loves and totally sperm-jacked that guy!!!  Why? Because her true love can’t give her a kid.  I know I’m incredibly slow to the game here, but WOW.  She sperm-jacked the guy.

At first I was totally shocked by this revelation but yet I didn’t fully know why.  It’s not like the content of the song is any less “R” rated than most stuff on the radio.  Plus I have more songs than I care to mention in my vast music collection that speak in graphic detail about anything and everything (thank you 2 Live Crew), and I have never been shocked by this stuff.  After I thought about it over a lunch-time Hot Pocket,  I think I was just shocked at my own ignorance to what the content of the song was after all of these years.  Seriously, I can tell you what most songs are about after listening to them a few times, but getting sperm-jacked was not on my radar.  Holy cow.  The imagery of the lyric “I am the flower, you are the seed.  We walked in the garden and planted a tree.” was definitely lost on me.  Then again I was never good at all that imagery stuff in English Lit class.

According to my friends at Wikipedia, I guess the song even created a bit of controversy at the time due to the fear that the lyrics could put women in danger by romanticizing the idea of picking up hitch-hikers.  I can understand that I guess, but I am surprised there wasn't an equal outcry over a concern about dudes getting sperm-jacked by stray women wanting to have a kid.

Odds are good the dudes were just happy to be getting laid though, which makes sense.  Sex rules and guys are animals.

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