Monday, July 28, 2014

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 123

The Time Mookie And Rick Ate A Whole Pizza On The Way To A Basketball Game

Back in the day,"Rick*" and I had a friend named "Devin*" who worked at a local pizza place in town. Devin used to give us free pizzas on the down-low every so often, and on this particular night we decided we needed to get one. For whatever reason - we were going to drive to a nearby town and see our high school girls' basketball team play, and thought we'd eat the pizza on the way there.

We called in our "order," and when we went to pick it up - much to our surprise and delight - Devin had OVER-TOPPED THE SHIT OUT OF IT. This thing had more cheese and meat than a person should consume in 3 meals. Due to the heft of this pie, we quickly determined that eating this thing was not going to be an easy task. We didn't want to sit at the pizza place and eat it because we had places to be, and at the same time we didn't want to get pizza all over the car and ourselves. So we pondered for a moment and came up with a great idea:
The driver would "drive" while the passenger would eat pizza out of the box on their lap. Then when we got to the half-way point to the place we were going, we'd pull over and switch places. 

It was a solid and gluttonous plan. We were taking Rick's car, so he started out driving while I began inhaling my gut-busting portion of pizza. It was only a 30 minute drive to the basketball game, so we each had approximately 15 minutes to eat this thing. Somehow, I had inhaled my portion of pizza just as we rolled into the half-way point. Rick parked the car and we did the "Chinese Fire Drill" thing and switched spots in the car, with me assuming the driving duties while Rick started eating pizza. I think Rick probably regretted going second because it was a lot of stop-and-go traffic once we got to the city where the basketball game was. I know I regretted going first because driving while you are THAT full is not fun. Finally, we made it to the school and upon parking we found that we had ate the WHOLE thing. It was quite an achievement, especially because we did it with no beverages of any kind along the way. I don't remember if we did, but I'm sure a stop at the water fountain on the way into the game was a must.

The only downside to the whole endeavor was that we had to watch a basketball game while utterly full of pizza, which for all intents and purposes was worth it.

Our efforts were sick, sad, and tremendously epic. I recommend this method the next time you need to eat something messy on the go......however....maybe not in the gluttonous manner we did. But if you want to, that's OK too. I won't judge you.

(*) - Names changed to protect the guilty/innocent

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