Monday, June 06, 2011

A Runner in Remission

It's been awhile since I've posted something, and it's pretty much par for the course.  Many things I want to do, many things I should be doing, and many things that are being done instead.  It's sad because I have had so many creative ideas, but yet haven't had the time or energy to get after it.  Work, kids, family, home stuff.  You know what I'm talking about.  I'm sure my wife is saying "welcome to my world" or something along that line.  I know dear.  :)  Many bits and pieces of ideas for more than one story has crossed my mind, only to find them left there.

One thing I find myself missing a lot on a regular basis is running.  I started regularly running back in 2004, and took off from there.  I lost a decent amount of weight, and was in pretty decent shape for 3-4 years.  I ran 3 full marathons, 3 half-marathons, and so many 5k's I can't even count the t-shirts I have from these races.  Then one day, it stopped.  In 2008 I trained all summer for the Des Moines Marathon that October, ran that, and then continued training and ran the half-marathon in Las Vegas in December.  After that I had no desire to run.  My wife was somewhat fine with that as she was sick of me taking off for a run that lasted one to three hours.  Plus I was just burned out.  Over time, I found myself trying to get back into just regular running for the exercise and weight loss, but found myself falling off the wagon pretty easy.  It might be the weather, it might be work, or it might be something going on at home.  Sometimes it's just me not wanting to get out and go.  It's really sad, and really frustrating.  More than once I have got back on the horse, so to speak, and got into a routine for 2 weeks or so.  Only to fall off the wagon again.

Recently I found myself thinking I was a "runner in remission." When I started running, it took me a good year to be comfortable with calling myself a "runner" or not cringing when someone else called me a "runner."  After I ran that 1st marathon, I went "yeah, I'm a runner."  But now, I somehow think of myself as a runner even though I am NOT running.  When I think about it, it sounds really stupid.  I think that is why I came up with the whole remission thing.  I know there is a runner inside me.  I just need to get it out. It makes me mad I have not been able to do it recently too.  I LOVE running at night.  There is just something peaceful and magical about it.  It's just me and the city.  There are nights I will let the dog out, or take the garbage to the garage and find the night just amazing.  The sky might be full of stars, a full moon, and little to no wind.  I will think to myself, "You are an idiot for not running tonight."  Nothing is necessarily stopping me from running. I just don't.

Somewhere out there I know my motivation is hiding.  I'm not sure what it is, but I know it's out there and I will know when I find it.  I remember when I was running the Chicago Marathon, I saw a spectator along the street that held up a sign that said "Doubters Can Suck It."  I remember thinking at that moment that was the most awesome sign ever.  It helped get me to the finish line and many miles down the road after that.  The gentlemen holding the sign in the attached picture I'm sure are trying to be funny, but as stupid as it sounds, I bet that sign helped SOMEONE. 

So, as I sit here typing instead of running, I hope you are out there looking for your motivation to do something.  If you are looking to run, get out there and do it.  Don't be a runner in remission like me.  Make it happen.  That is something I definitely need to do.  Not only with just the running, but several aspects in my life.  Trust me I'm working on it, but I'm sort of retarded.  I'll figure it out.  I have to.

So, keep your head up, and keep an eye out.  Hopefully I'll see you sooner than later while I'm trudging up the street in my Nikes and iPod cranked to 10.  Again....I have to.

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