Monday, January 12, 2015

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 139

The Time Mookie Ranted About People Who Don't Make Coffee At Work

The office I work in is gracious enough to provide free coffee to its employees.  Normally I am not a coffee fanatic, but FREE coffee is cheaper than Diet Pepsi and it gets me going on those mornings I would rather be anywhere else but work.  Which is you know -  EVERY FRICKIN' DAY.

I consider myself to be a very gracious and courteous coffee maker when the situation calls for it.  The mug I use is bigger than most, so I am always willing to step up and make sure the people coming into the break room right after me are able to get their cup o' joe when they need it.  In the break room I use (there are four on my floor) there are three pots: one is for decaf and the other two are for regular.  If I can combine the two regular pots into one and fire up a new one - I will do it every time without complaint.  Without fail though, at least three days of the week I will find not one - but BOTH of the regular coffee pots empty.  I mean who does this shit?  It's not hard to make coffee, especially with the machines we have.  The machine is hooked to a water line so you don't have to add water to anything, and the coffee is in a pre-measured filter bag so all you have to do is dump the old one out of the machine and throw the new one in. Zip zap, push the BREW button and Bob's your uncle.  Coffee is on the way!  It literally takes less than 10 seconds.
If you do this, I hate you.

Apparently I am not the only person who feels this way, as I have encountered more than one individual dropping a serious f-bomb or two when they found out the pots were empty.  I saw one guy walk into the break room in front of me for coffee and proceed to find that both of the regular pots were empty. To no one in particular he says out loud: "Why the FUCK couldn't someone make some more coffee? It's not like they probably didn't know it was the end of the pot!"  All I could do was nod my head in agreement and say "I hear ya brother."  The only thing to do at that point was to decide whether or not I should wait the three minutes for the fresh pot next to a possibly insane person, or to walk across the front lobby to the break room on the other side of the building.  In this case I opt for the walk because A). It's a nice walk and I can give the security guards out front a hard time. and B). They always have coffee over there for some reason.  They must have gotten the memo on how to make coffee or something.  Either way I'm not going to have to make small talk with the guy obviously needing coffee more than I do, or risk possible bodily injury due to his lack of caffeine.  Odds are also good that I can get my coffee across the lobby and be back at my desk even before the other pot has finished brewing.  So it's a win-win there.

So if you work in an office that provides free coffee, please make sure you are a courteous coffee maker for your fellow co-workers.  You might just upset the wrong employee who really needs that cup of coffee RIGHT NOW.  Trust me, that is probably not somebody you want to run into at 8:30 on a Monday morning.

(*) - Names changed to protect the guilty/innocent

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