Monday, March 09, 2015

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 143

The Time Mookie Got One Of The Big Drinks In Las Vegas

Since it is now March, that usually means one thing for the kids out there: Spring Break Vacation. To celebrate Spring Break, all of the Monday Morning Stories with Mookie episodes in March will be about something that happened during one of my visits to my favorite vacation destination: LAS VEGAS. Enjoy.



The first time I went to Vegas, it was with my then-fiancee/now-wife Megan.*  As I have discussed in previous stories, we stayed at the God-awful Circus Circus hotel at the northern end of The Strip.  Even though it was hell-and-gone from all the things we wanted to see in Las Vegas, blistered feet-be-damned we walked all over the place to see it.

During our journeys up and down The Strip, we kept seeing people with these abnormally large drink containers and could not figure out what they were or where they got them.  They were approximately two feet tall, and had a large container at the bottom that tapered up a long neck to a funneled mouth at the top.  This container also had a large straw that went from the bottom of the drink and stuck out the top.  Finally after a few days, we found out the source of these drinks: Slots O' Fun.  If you have never been to Slots O' Fun, brother you are missing out.  This place is home to not only some of the worst and most degenerate gamblers the town has ever seen, but also has some of the worst and most degenerate dealers in town as well - so you almost HAVE to see it.  Just make sure your tetanus shots are up to date.  Luckily this place is right next to the Circus Circus property, so we made plans to stop by on our way out on the town one particular night.
An example of the big drink.

We found the bar in Slots O' Fun that was selling the big drink, and we told the bartender that was what we wanted.  If I remember correctly, there were maybe three flavors you could get: Long Island Iced Tea, Sex On The Beach, and then some other fruity thing.  I chose the Long Island and Megan chose the Sex On The Beach.  The bartender basically filled the containers with ice before pouring the concoction into them, so we were probably getting cheated a ton by all the ice, but for as long as it took to drink them it probably worked out because the ice kept the drink cool.

We walked clear down The Strip and wandered in and out of casinos, all the while drinking our big drinks.  They started out tasting okay, but as the evening wore on they were getting kind of nasty.  Eventually, the alcohol in the big drinks finally snuck up on us and before we knew it we had gotten a little tipsy over them.  As we headed back to the hotel, I think we stopped drinking the big drinks because by that time they tasted like watered down battery acid.  What I do remember though is Megan and I cutting through this weird parking garage behind Circus Circus, randomly blurting things out and just laughing and laughing in our big drink-fueled stupor.  Finally we reached our room and collapsed on the beds in heap.  The big drink served us well that night and was well worth the six or seven bucks a piece we paid for them.

Nowadays you can get the big drinks EVERYWHERE on The Strip - except for ironically Slots O' Fun. For whatever reason, they don't even have them anymore.  Maybe they weren't putting enough alcohol in them to nullify the staph germs in the building.  You can find the big drink containers at all the Mexican food places where they fill them with your favorite margarita, and the Paris resort even has their own version of the big drink in the shape of the Eiffel Tower.  I had a big drink at a different casino years later after the Slots O' Fun one, but it definitely wasn't as good and it didn't have as much alcohol in it either.

They always say "good things never last," and that definitely holds true with the big drink on the Vegas Strip.  I'll just have to make my own big drink at home.

* - Names changed to protect the guilty/innocent

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