Friday, November 30, 2012

IT'S FRIDAY!!!!

I've had the Bon Jovi cranked today.  I think this would be the case if I wasn't wearing headphones....


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

She Knows The Vacuum Cleaner Man

I am a huge fan of the idiots they interview on the local news.  Notable favorites here at Breathtaking and Inappropriate are Antoine Dodson (Hide Yo Kids, Hide Yo Wife), and of course Sweet Brown (Ain't Nobody Got Time For That!).

I am not sure of this fine lady's name, but you find out several important facts about her during her interview.  Enjoy.


Most Popular Professor On Campus

I'm going to take a shot here, but I bet all of his exams are oral.


Monday, November 26, 2012

Stupid Uncle Phil


That guy was always ruining a good joke.


Monday Morning Story With Mookie - Episode 44

The Time Mookie Wrecked The Shit Out Of His Car

One night back in college, I wrecked my car.  Not just wrecked it, mind you.  I WRECKED THE SHIT OUT OF IT.  What happened?  Read on.

I was going to college and living at home with my parents at the time.  So while I was a full-time "college student," you could argue I wasn't getting the "real" college experience.  I wasn't off banging the entire co-ed community on campus every day like most regular college-going folk.  I still lived at home, commuted to school during the day, and worked part-time at Hardee's.

I wasn't a total loser though, as I had friends that did live on campus, and from time to time I would go and visit them when the time allowed.  One Wednesday night I went and visited a friend for some various reason.  It was getting to be close to midnight, so I decided to call it a night and head for home as I had class and work the next day.  I had not been drinking, so the idea of me driving was not a big deal.  While my friend lived approximately 45-50 minutes from my house, it was a bit of a drive...but I was used to it.

I was flying along doing about 60 on a rural highway, I had the windows down, and had the Van Halen album "5150" cranked as loud as my whiny JVC cassette deck would go.  My car was a 1986 Ford Escort EXP.  It was a 2 seat hatchback, and I loved this car.

I came out of a curve and began a set of rolling hills approximately 10 miles from home.  As I started up the 1st hill, I saw a critter of some kind scurry onto the road and into my lane of traffic.  I tried to swerve a bit to try to avoid hitting it, but accidentally jerked the wheel harder than I should have in trying to swerve.  The next thing I knew was that my car was beginning to go broadside (on dry pavement).  I have self-corrected out of this situation a million times on snow/ice, so while I was caught off guard by the apparent slide I was in, I was confident I would be able to regain control.  Yeah...not so much.  I turned the wheel to try and correct the skid...and all that managed to do was swing the entire car the other way and pointed straight towards the ditch while still doing 60 MPH.

It all happened so fast, but yet it was one of those things where it was in slow motion in your brain.  I remember seeing the ditch coming at me REAL fast, and me going "Oh shit."  WHAM.  I hit the ditch embankment with a sickening crunch, and all the lights on the car went out.  At that point I was totally along for the ride. I couldn't see what was happening, or where I was going, but I was still moving at a high rate for some reason.  I had that whole "life flashing before your eyes" thing when I hit the ditch, but was cognizant of the fact that I was currently in a motor vehicle accident in progress, and thought it was pretty "weak."  Finally, the ride came to an end, and I had no idea where I was.

The first thing I noticed, was that there was a light on in the back of the hatch for some reason.  I wasn't sure why, but figured the car just got rattled around a bunch and turned something on.  I looked down at my lap, and there was a piece of something laying there.  I picked it up and it looked like a chunk of clear plastic.  I opened the driver side door, and tried to get out.  I remember it being difficult to get out of the car for some reason but didn't know why.  I more or less fell out of the car into the ditch, and began to try to look at the car in the moonlight.  My car was perpendicular to the road, and the front was facing the highway.  I walked up onto the roadway and looked at the front of my car.  One of the headlights was gone, and the other was sort of hanging there.  Both of my fog lights were gone, and I could tell one of the front wheels was flat.

At this point, I still had the idea that I would probably be able to drive the car out of the ditch and drive it home.  I was like "My Dad is going to wonder what the hell I did when he sees this in the driveway in the morning."  I decide to try and start the car and drive it out.  I climbed back into the driver seat, and then realized the car was definitely not what it once was.  The entire driver seat was broken.  The back part had snapped upon impact and I had actually been laying down for the rest of the accident.  That explained why it was such a bitch to get out of the car.  Undeterred, I put my foot on the clutch and tried to fire the engine.  VROOOOOOM.  It fired.  Hell yes.  I shut the door, put it into gear and got ready to take off.  Just as I eased off the clutch....it died.  I pushed the clutch again and tried to start it again, but this time it went no where.  I was dead where I stood.  I fell out of the car again, and decided to walk around the car and see what I was really dealing with here.  It was then the extent of the damage became apparent.  The entire hatch was still locked and shut, but the body had shifted so much I could put my arm through a opening between the body and the door.  A rear tire was flat, and the other one wasn't even touching the ground.  Yep.  I was screwed.

I was still not exactly sure where I was, and because it was about midnight, there was NO traffic out and about on the highway.  I started walking up the highway about 100 feet when I finally realized/remembered where I was.  There was a farm house just up the way a bit, so I ran there to see if I could find a phone to call for help.  I ran up to the dark house and pounded on the door.  I stood there forever, pounding on the door every few minutes or so. Finally, a light went on and some old old old guy came to the door.  I explained my problem and asked if I could use his phone to call my Dad and the deputy sheriff.  He said yes, so he led me to his phone in the kitchen and I called my Dad.  He answered, and I said "It's me.  I was in a car accident.  I'm OK, but I need you to come get me."  He asked where I was, and I told him.  He said he'd be there in a bit.  After that, I called the Sheriff's Office to report the accident.  I thanked the old guy for letting me use his phone, and apologized for waking him.  He was very nice about the whole thing, and to this day I still feel horrible waking him up that night.

I went back out to my car, and waited for the cavalry to arrive.  As I sat on the hood of my busted up EXP, I remembered what got me into the situation in the first place: that critter.  I followed my skid marks back down the highway, and sure enough....there was the critter.  From the way he looked, I think I hit him with at least two wheels.  Bastard.

Eventually a deputy sheriff showed up, and began to write up an accident report.  Much to his credit, he did NOT give me a ticket for anything.  I was sure I was going to get a "failure to maintain control" citation or something, but he was really nice about it.  I had interacted with him before at various community gatherings, and I think he remembered me.  Dad arrived and was VERY glad I was OK.  He asked if I was wearing my seat belt, and I said that I was.  I showed him my now growing bruise from said belt, and the broken seat.  The officer said he called a tow truck, and that we didn't need to wait around for all of that.  He said to make sure I got any "necessary" items I needed out of the car though.  I knew for a fact there were two items I needed to discreetly remove from the car due to their contraband nature.  One was my radar detector.  I didn't want my deputy friend here to see that and rethink the whole necessity of a reckless driving ticket or something.  The second was the pile of "Works Bomb" supplies I had in the hatch.  I had a bag of drain cleaner, aluminum foil, and 2-liter bottles that definitely would not look good in the eyes of the deputy.  While Dad unknowingly distracted the cop, I removed the contraband and put it in Dad's truck.  We then left and went home.

I arrived home to a Mom who was nervous beyond belief, and a feeling of definite whiplash that was beginning to take effect.  By morning, my entire body was the sorest it had ever been, and I couldn't move my neck/head at all without utter pain.

Dad and I went to see my car that afternoon, and remove anything else we needed to.  When we saw my car laying there in its wrecked state, neither of us could believe it.  The auto salvage guy swore that I rolled the car based on the kind of damage on the hood, roof, and trunk of the car.  I told him what happened, and said that based on the condition of the ditch and everything, I didn't think I rolled it.  The guy kinda nodded his head for a minute, and then he said:
"Well kid, you definitely wrecked the shit out of it then."

Indeed I did.


Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 43

The Time Mookie Got Out Of A Speeding Ticket
 - Thanks In Part To His Pregnant Wife

Several years ago when my wife and I both worked at MCI, we used to carpool quite a bit to save money on gas.  Our usual carpool vehicle was a green Hyundai Accent hatchback.  This thing was BUTT UGLY, but it got the job done.  It cost less than ten grand brand new, and had very few bells and whistles.  It had a cassette player (this was huge for me), crank down windows (future generations will sadly not know of these things), manual transmission, and it's golden accessory - air conditioning.  Other than that, it was blah.  But it got over 30 MPG, and we used it to haul everything.  We crammed tree branches, garbage, furniture, dirt, and anything else we needed hauled into the hatch.  Hyundai should be paying me for this as it borders on advertising.

One particular day we were driving home from work in the green Hyundai, and I was more or less minding the speed limit.  The reason I was keeping it to a low roar was that my co-pilot wife "Megan(*)" was pregnant with our first child.  Like WAY pregnant.  So I was being safe and protecting my precious cargo.  Plus if I was being reckless, I would hear about it from my pregnant wife.  You know what I'm talking about.  You don't mess with pregnant women.

I'm in a flow of traffic with one car up ahead of me, and a few behind me.  Just as we are coming into town, we meet a deputy sheriff leaving town.  As soon as he gets to us, the lights come on and he makes this grand maneuver off the shoulder of the highway, and is ready to turn around into traffic.  Megan sees this, looks over at me to monitor my speedometer, and says "You weren't speeding were you?"  I look down and see that I am coasting at the posted speed limit.  I say, "No.  He must be going for the guy in front of us or behind us."

"Officer Friendly"(*) then proceeded to whip out into traffic right behind us and speed up to our bumper with all his flashers on.  Awesome.  We pull into town and pull over along a side-street and await Officer Friendly's presence.

I roll down the window as I see this husky older officer leave his cruiser and make his way up to my car.  He arrives at the car and says:
"Good afternoon.  Do you know why I stopped you?"

I replied "No, I'm sorry I don't."

He says "Well my radar clocked you doing 10 miles per hour over the speed limit back there coming into town."

It was then my very pregnant wife felt inclined to include herself in the conversation.  She leaned forward so Officer Friendly could see/hear her and goes:
"Absolutely NOT!"

Needless to say Officer Friendly was given cause for concern here.  You don't mess with a pregnant woman.

She added that she was watching my speed as we were coming into town, and there was "no way" we were speeding."

I further added that we were in traffic with a car in front of us and some behind us, and that it was possible that the radar may have read them instead of me.  He says he can track 3 cars at a time, and that I could come back and look at the radar readouts.  I take him up on his offer and go back to the car.  I see a readout that shows 3 speeds.  The last one is the one that was speeding.  I say to him "See, right here.  I was following one car.  There is me.  The guy that was speeding was the one behind me."

Officer Friendly immediately begins stammering about something, and goes and looks at the front of his car.  He then asks me to go back to my vehicle and give him a minute.  I go back to my car, and get in.  Megan says "What did he say?"  I tell her what I saw and did, and the officer's weird behavior after that.

I notice in the mirror that he is coming back, so I was very curious what he was going to do.  He bends down into the window and says:
"Well I'm just coming on my shift, and I'm sure there will be many more down the road, so I'm going to just give you a verbal warning.  Have a nice day."  

He walked back to his car, and headed out.  Megan and I smiled and laughed at us "beating" the ticket, and how her exclamation at Officer Friendly obviously rattled him from the start.  It still makes me laugh to this day.

So the moral of my story: Cops are afraid of some things.  One of them: pregnant women.

(*)  - Name changed the protect the guilty/innocent.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Shante's Having A Party!!!

Who is Shante?  Beats the shit out of me.

All I know is that her 17th birthday party is shaping up to be more epic than any party I have ever attended.  Holy crap.


Thursday, November 15, 2012

It's Thursday Afternoon!

It's Thursday afternoon, and that can only mean one thing!!  That's right!

Little people in harnesses pulling an jumbo jet!!!


Big Dick

Ladies and Gentlemen......you have been warned.



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Two Problems In The World Today

1.  Anything Kardashian
2.  Gangnam Style.

Both of these things NEED to go away.


Monday, November 12, 2012

Whenever I Go Shopping


Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 42

The Time Mookie Was Mistaken For A Wal-Mart Employee

Have you ever been shopping in a store and been approached by someone who thinks you work there? It happens to everyone at some point.  It usually entails a confused person walking up to you going "Excuse me, do you work here?"  I've seen/heard it several times.

For some reason,  it seems to happen to me more than it should.  While I did work at Walmart for a period of time in the 1990's, I have not been affiliated with the evil conglomerate for many years, nor do I dress in Walmart looking attire when I'm in there.  So (to me) that makes this story even weirder and funnier.

I went over to Walmart one day to pick up some items on my lunch hour.  I was in my usual work attire - khakis and a polo.  While I understand that Walmart employees usually wear tan pants and blue shirts, I must mention my shirt was green, and I looked WAY more clean than the usual Walmart person (You know what I'm talking about).  I was in the electronics area looking at the various games and gadgets...you know...minding my own damn business when the following happened.

I overhear some woman down the aisle say "Excuse me."  I pay it no mind because I'm by myself and I'm looking at gadgets.

A second goes by and then I hear more loudly, and with a LOT more attitude:

"EX-CUUUSE ME."

I look up and see this African-American woman and young girl standing there looking at me with serious contempt. I had no idea what her problem was with me, so I did what any normal person would do.  I replied "Huh?"

With continued attitude, she says:
"Can you tells me wheres you all keep all the pencil sharpeners?"

As I was quite engrossed in my gadget shopping (and minding my own damn business), I have to admit I was caught quite off-guard by her questioning.  It took me a second to process why this stranger was copping an extreme attitude with me, and asking me questions about pencil sharpeners.

So I politely said: "I'm sorry.  What?"

It was then that her body language began to reflect her utter annoyance at my stupidity.  She struck a determined stance, and placed one hand on her hip.  She repeated her sentence again, but did so slowly and with epic attitude.  She moved her head side to side and pointed with her finger with each word she said in short bursts.

"Do you.  Know where.  The pencil sharpeners. IS?

OOO-K.  She thinks I work here.  Yeah. I don't work here and I don't appreciate her f**king attitude.  So I felt justified when I replied to her the way she just talked to me.

"No. I don't. I. Do NOT. Work. Here."

The look on her face was flippin' PRICELESS.  She went totally blank, and embarrassment was apparent as she hurried away in search of someone that could help her find pencil sharpeners.

I wasn't sure what I was more disgusted with, her wrongfully directed attitude or her wrongful assumption that I worked there.  Either way I had to get out of that store.

In hindsight, if she would have just been nice and cut the attitude I may have told her they were probably in Stationary up by the front of the store.  But no, I regrettably sunk to her level, and risked getting slapped in the Electronics Department for copping an attitude with a black woman.  Thankfully I did not suffer that fate.

If there is anyone to blame in this situation, I blame Walmart.  There is something about that place that just brings out the worst in people.  You can see it on people's faces the second they enter the building.  Its a "kill or be killed" attitude.  I would wager that if Walmart were abolished, the world would be a much kinder place.  We'd all pay a little more for our laundry detergent, but dammit we would all get along better.  "Save Money, Live Better" my ass.  Screw you Walmart.



Miss a previous episode of Monday Morning Stories With Mookie?  Click HERE.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Happy Veteran's Day

To all those who have served, we forever owe you a debt of gratitude.  Thank you for your service.
If you see a veteran, shake their hand and say thanks.  You owe them at least that.






















Have You Found Jesus?


Saturday, November 10, 2012

Support Your Kids!!

Remember, a parent who supports their kids - is a parent of a self-confident kid.

Well....most of the time anyway.



Friday, November 09, 2012

Today's Advice

Here is a good piece of advice, from none other than Gary Busey.  Trust me, you couldn't argue with this logic...even if you wanted to.


Cyanide and Happiness

Have you ever seen this cartoon?  It is easily one of the most twisted and funny things on the internet.



Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Check Out My Favorite Jam!

I've been listening to these guys all day.  They are AWESOME.  That "Joy" they are singing about is one lucky lady.


Tuesday, November 06, 2012

It's Election Day!!

Of course Ron Swanson has some thoughts about Election Day...And Government in general....




Monday, November 05, 2012

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 41


The Time Mookie and Megan Hired Home Town Restyling 
(And It Was A Nightmare) Part II

Disclaimer:  The following story is 100% true.  I must say this because I don’t need someone coming out of the woodwork and suing me for defamation, slander, or libel.  Everything stated here is matter of fact, and indisputable.

If you missed Part I of this story, click HERE.

Let me start Part II by introducing the characters in this chapter:

Me:  Yours truly, Mookie.
"Megan(*)":  My hot wife.
Home Town Restyling (HTR):  The company we hired for various home improvements.
HTR Sales Guy:  The guy that sold us on the 3 jobs we have hired HTR to do.
Wayne:  The owner and president of Hometown Restyling.
Foreman Guy:  The guy responsible for the workers who did the 3 jobs.
Two Dudes:  The guys who did the original window/trim job on our house in Part I.
Ken and Lonny: The guys who did the window replacement/trim on our house after the 2011 storm.
Joe and Tony:  The guys who did the soffit/facia replacement.

During the early morning hours of July 14, 2011, a storm of major proportions did some significant damage to our home.  We lost a majority of the soffit and facia along the west side of our house, and the 3 large plate-glass windows on the front porch were completely blown out and shattered all over hell (these were windows we chose not to replace in 2007 as it is 3 season porch and we knew those big ass windows would be EXPENSIVE).  

Now, because we know Home Town Restyling has trim and material to match the wrapping on the rest of the house without painting it, we checked into them purely out of that convenience.  Plus we hoped the "new" windows would now match the ones we previously put on the house.  We call them up – and lucky us – we are talking to “HTR Sales Guy,” the same guy we dealt with back in 2007.   He came up and gave Megan an estimate on the new windows, and to (again) re-do the trim around the porch windows.  Unfortunately we are told that the company that made the windows we previously installed on the house was no longer in business, but the windows HTR is selling now are "just as good" and very similar to the other ones.  Megan flat out told “HTR Sales Guy” we were very hesitant about hiring HTR again to do this work, mainly because of the the difficulties and "issues" we had with the workers last time (the “Two Dudes”).  He told her that the "Two Dudes" didn’t work for Home Town anymore, and were relieved of their HTR employment not long after they finished our job in 2007.  This was some-what reassuring, especially since we had still heard good things about HTR.  In fact, my parents contracted HTR to replace all of their windows and thought they did a fabulous job.  So because we knew HTR could match all of our trim work perfectly, we ran all the information by our homeowners insurance people and decided to go that route.  

As they were quite busy with existing jobs (and probable other jobs due to this storm), the job wouldn't started until OCTOBER (The storm happened July 11th).  BUT because we know the trim they will be replacing will match 100% with what we currently had, and the windows would look pretty close to what was on the rest of the house -  we decided it was worth going 3 months with the front of our house boarded up like Hurricane Katrina had blown through.  Seriously, our house looked like a crack house with the front of it all boarded up.  

While we are at it, we also asked “HTR Sales Guy” if they could give us an estimate on re-doing the soffit and facia on the house that was damaged.  “HTR Sales Guy” basically said that he didn’t “handle that part” of the business and we’d need to talk to the "siding" part of the business.  Plus he said HTR didn't sell soffit in the design we had on our house, nor did they do "partial" jobs.  We would have to have the whole house re-soffited if we wanted HTR to do it.  So we decided to skip that part and work with our insurance guy as he was trying to help us find similar material for our soffits.

FINALLY,  we get a call that says "Ken and Lonny" will be up on October 3rd.  To their credit, "Ken and Lonny" actually showed up on the 3rd as they were promised, and -even better - they knocked the job out in the 2 days they said it would take.  At first it looked like they did a decent job, and we were ecstatic.  Mainly I think we were just happy we could see out the front of our house again instead of looking at plywood.  We did notice a few things that we weren't utterly happy about, but thought we would address that in the near future.

After a few days of what seemed like a successfully completed front porch window project, we also decided to get and estimate from Hometown to replace ALL the soffit and facia around the entire house.  As I previously said, we had been trying to find someone that could match the style of aluminum soffit, but we came up short everywhere.  This is no surprise because this is “our house” and nothing is ever easy with it.  Our insurance guy came up with something that was quite similar, but was still different from what we had.  Plus, because it was only made in white, it would need to be painted.  Our soffit was blue, and matched all the trim and facia.  It was beginning to sound like a lot of work, numerous contractors, and of course - lots of time - to just fix damaged sections.  We thought we'd get a quote to see how much the whole thing would cost, and match that up to the cost of just fixing what was broken.

I called Home Town and inquired about needing an estimate on soffit/facia.  They transferred me to some sales guy who started to give me the run-around and was being kind of dickish.  When I told him WHO I was and that we’d been their customer recently, he changed his tune and was all ready to help me.  I explained that “HTR Sales Guy” said we’d have to have someone else at HTR handle that job, and asked to speak to whoever I needed to.  Swear to God -  The guy goes “What?  HTR Sales Guy is the guy you need to talk to.  He bids all of the trim, siding, and soffit jobs."

So he transfers me to "HTR Sales Guy," and I get his voicemail.  I left a message about needing an estimate on the soffit/facia, hung up.  I was confused at this point.  I wasn't sure if he was blowing us off the first time or if he just misunderstood what we wanted.  Nevertheless, he eventually called me up and scheduled a time to come up for an estimate.

“HTR Sales Guy” showed up at the house one afternoon to size up everything, and shoots us a bid.  He tells me that this includes the entire soffit and facia trim clear around the house.  He also says the company that makes the facia is the same company that makes the soffits.  Therefore they can get the soffit in the same color.  This is awesome news.  The fact we can get it all in the same color - with no painting - was the clincher.  We wanted to avoid having to paint, because we'd have to paint the whole thing anyway to make it match.  We talked numbers with insurance and made our case as to the reason why this made more sense than just fixing the broken stuff and paying 3 different people.  Our insurance said we could go with HTR for the replacement of all the soffit, but they would only cover "half" of the cost, since only half the soffit/facia of it was damaged.  We discussed it, and decided that having HTR replace the whole thing with the color we wanted would be in our best interests.  So, we laid down a deposit and signed a contract for them to do the work.  "HTR Sales Guy" tells Megan that work will start in November around Thanksgiving.  We figure this isn't too bad, since it is the beginning of October.

In early November, the “HTR Sales Guy” calls Megan and says that they can’t get the soffit in the color we wanted.  He says that the company that makes all the materials “doesn’t do soffit in that color anymore.”  F.  I mean really......F.  We weren't sure what to do, as we went with them mainly for this sole reason.  We decided to forge ahead, and re-decide what color to do on the soffit.  We chose a tan color that some-what matched our siding, and hoped to God it didn't look stupid when it was done.  Megan stopped into HTR and signed a “revised” contract in early November that reflected the change in color of the soffit.  At that time she was told the work would start in early December, if not before that.

December comes and we hear nothing.  On December 21st I finally decided we’ve waited long enough, so I email “HTR Sales Guy” to inquire what in the F the deal is.  Twenty-four hours later I have still not heard anything from anyone at HTR.  So I picked up the phone and calmly called “HTR Sales Guy.”   He nervously tells me he was going to have to talk to “Wayne,” the owner of Home Town Restyling and see when they would be up.  That afternoon I get a one-line email from “HTR Sales Guy” that says verbatim: “No exact date, but will be started in January.” 

Bull. Shit.

On December 28th, I penned a lengthy email to “Wayne,” the owner of Home Town Restyling and voiced our disgust.    I stated the facts (as I have been telling in this story), how it had been 3 months since we signed the original contract, and how we had only been told what we couldn’t have (blue soffit), and how the never-definite job date keeps moving into the future (Nov. Dec. Jan.).  I stated that it was unacceptable, and wanted to know what he was going to do to rectify it.

To his credit, “Wayne” emailed me back that afternoon.  He said he would get some answers in the morning about what was going on, and regretted our “disappointment.”  The next day before lunch, I got another email from “Wayne” saying a crew would be at our house January 4th to drop off the work materials, and then get to work the next day.  He also went on to say that the situation was "upsetting" to him as well, and that “HTR Sales Guy” did a “terrible job of communicating the expectation of the work schedule.”  You’ve got that right Wayne.

January 4th rolls around, and I got another email from "Wayne" that said the HTR boys - "Joe and Tony"  would be up that afternoon to drop off the materials, and will start work the next day after that.  Oh, and he wished me a "Happy New Year" which I'm sure is nice if you are into that sort of thing.

Sure enough, "Joe and Tony" showed up that afternoon as promised and dropped off their tools and sized up everything.  I found "Joe" to be a super-nice guy, and he seemed quite skilled at what he and "Tony" were going to do.  Not only that, he was very honest about our situation up to that point, and said how "Home Town Sales Guy" pretty much screwed the pooch on this whole deal.  He said that when he dropped off tools the previous day, he noticed that all the trim they ordered was tan - not blue like it was supposed to be.  So somewhere between "HTR Sales Guy and the HTR office, they screwed up the order.  However "Joe" put the order in that day, and would have it in the next day before they started putting up trim.

Up until that point, we had an extremely mild winter and the temps were not ungodly cold.  Nor did we have much snow to contend with either.  Of course a few days after they started work, it SNOWED.    And it was COLD.  There were one or two days where they couldn't work because it was so cold, which was understandable.  I wouldn't have wanted to work in it either.

After about two weeks, "Joe and Tony" finished up and went on their way.

It was then that Megan and I looked at the work they did, and noticed some "imperfections."  Overall it wasn't "bad" (given our previous HTR experiences), but it wasn't great for what we paid for it.  This mainly consisted of some uneven seams, some corners we weren't pleased with, and a few places where the trim seemed to pucker and look wavy as it went down the house.

We also thought we would have them address the "imperfections" that we had previously noticed on the "front porch windows project," as well as the other issues that had shown up since then   While the windows were fine, the trim was not.  There were gaps showing, parts coming un-nailed, and trim was starting to pucker in a few places.  This was unacceptable, and I contacted Wayne again via email to make sure we got this stuff fixed.  In addition, we had questions regarding the "rebate" we were supposed to get from the utilities people on our front porch windows.  We were told we'd get $25 a window (we got 11 windows), but when the check came, it was only $125.

Wayne again promply emailed me back, and said he would send "Foreman Guy" up to look at the work, and see what could be done. In regards to my questions about the utility rebate, he told me that we (again) were misinformed.  Even though we did get 11 windows, since we put 3 windows each in the 3 spaces where there was only 1 big window (plus replaced 2 single windows), they would only give us credit for "openings."  It made sense, but it was also B.S. because "HTR Sales Guy" should have known this.  I hate that guy.

"Foreman Guy" showed up a few weeks later to look things over, and said he'd send "Joe and Tony" back up to our house to fix our concerns on the soffit/facia, and have "Ken" come up and fix the issues on the porch trim around the windows.

Did things get better?  Of course they didn't.  Check back soon for Part III of what will hopefully be the final saga with us and Home Town Restyling.

(*) - Names changed to protect the guilty and innocent.

Miss a previous episode of Monday Morning Stories with Mookie?  Click HERE.

Saturday, November 03, 2012

The Weekend

I hope you are all having a great weekend.  I hope it is going as well as it is for this guy here...

Eye Patch? Check.

Yard of beer? Check.

Fireplace?  Check.

Some chick looking at your eyepatched gray haired ass all dreamily?  CHECK

Thursday, November 01, 2012

There Has Been A Disturbance In The Force

I'm sure you have heard about George Lucas selling off the Star Wars rights and franchise to DISNEY for like 4.05 BILLION.  Included in the mix are the rights to the Indiana Jones stories too.

IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE???

So what does Disney IMMEDIATELY say they are going to do?  Yup, 3 new movies.  This should all but ensure that fan-boys (and girls) continue arguing over the most mudane details of any and every Star Wars movie for generations to come.

My first instinct was "Why are they screwing with this series?"  But then I thought that maybe if George Lucas isn't involved, it will be good.  I told my two sons (ages 10 and 5) the news and they went through the same thought process I did.  It was kind of funny.

So while everyone and their Grandma gripes about the movies from here to the end of time, I guarantee that everyone and their Grandma goes and sees these movies too.

All I know is that I picture George Lucas sitting at home looking like this guy.....