Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday Morning Stories With Mookie - Episode 42

The Time Mookie Was Mistaken For A Wal-Mart Employee

Have you ever been shopping in a store and been approached by someone who thinks you work there? It happens to everyone at some point.  It usually entails a confused person walking up to you going "Excuse me, do you work here?"  I've seen/heard it several times.

For some reason,  it seems to happen to me more than it should.  While I did work at Walmart for a period of time in the 1990's, I have not been affiliated with the evil conglomerate for many years, nor do I dress in Walmart looking attire when I'm in there.  So (to me) that makes this story even weirder and funnier.

I went over to Walmart one day to pick up some items on my lunch hour.  I was in my usual work attire - khakis and a polo.  While I understand that Walmart employees usually wear tan pants and blue shirts, I must mention my shirt was green, and I looked WAY more clean than the usual Walmart person (You know what I'm talking about).  I was in the electronics area looking at the various games and gadgets...you know...minding my own damn business when the following happened.

I overhear some woman down the aisle say "Excuse me."  I pay it no mind because I'm by myself and I'm looking at gadgets.

A second goes by and then I hear more loudly, and with a LOT more attitude:

"EX-CUUUSE ME."

I look up and see this African-American woman and young girl standing there looking at me with serious contempt. I had no idea what her problem was with me, so I did what any normal person would do.  I replied "Huh?"

With continued attitude, she says:
"Can you tells me wheres you all keep all the pencil sharpeners?"

As I was quite engrossed in my gadget shopping (and minding my own damn business), I have to admit I was caught quite off-guard by her questioning.  It took me a second to process why this stranger was copping an extreme attitude with me, and asking me questions about pencil sharpeners.

So I politely said: "I'm sorry.  What?"

It was then that her body language began to reflect her utter annoyance at my stupidity.  She struck a determined stance, and placed one hand on her hip.  She repeated her sentence again, but did so slowly and with epic attitude.  She moved her head side to side and pointed with her finger with each word she said in short bursts.

"Do you.  Know where.  The pencil sharpeners. IS?

OOO-K.  She thinks I work here.  Yeah. I don't work here and I don't appreciate her f**king attitude.  So I felt justified when I replied to her the way she just talked to me.

"No. I don't. I. Do NOT. Work. Here."

The look on her face was flippin' PRICELESS.  She went totally blank, and embarrassment was apparent as she hurried away in search of someone that could help her find pencil sharpeners.

I wasn't sure what I was more disgusted with, her wrongfully directed attitude or her wrongful assumption that I worked there.  Either way I had to get out of that store.

In hindsight, if she would have just been nice and cut the attitude I may have told her they were probably in Stationary up by the front of the store.  But no, I regrettably sunk to her level, and risked getting slapped in the Electronics Department for copping an attitude with a black woman.  Thankfully I did not suffer that fate.

If there is anyone to blame in this situation, I blame Walmart.  There is something about that place that just brings out the worst in people.  You can see it on people's faces the second they enter the building.  Its a "kill or be killed" attitude.  I would wager that if Walmart were abolished, the world would be a much kinder place.  We'd all pay a little more for our laundry detergent, but dammit we would all get along better.  "Save Money, Live Better" my ass.  Screw you Walmart.



Miss a previous episode of Monday Morning Stories With Mookie?  Click HERE.

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